I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
