The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
