Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
