in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize