Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
