We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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