So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
