Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
