Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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