I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
