DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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