Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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