covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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