I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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