You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
