the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
