She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So much rum. So many feels.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
