As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
