Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
