All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
