all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
