Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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