and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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