Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
