i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
