dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
