At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
