Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
