you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This is my gift to your gina
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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