Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
