Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
