No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
