just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
