This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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