What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
