i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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