It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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