Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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