can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize