I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
