Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
