We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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