I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Too much gin, very little bucket
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
