Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
