I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
