She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
