dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
