Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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