Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
