What did we do last night that was yellow?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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