I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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