Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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