I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
