Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
