i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so much tequila, so little girl.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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