yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
