Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i now understand why vodka
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
