my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
