Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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