i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
